The One Relationship that Matters Most

Our shared Relative Reality means that we are always in relationship — all experience is relational. In fact, we cannot say what is happening right now without describing what we are in relation to. This might be an obvious statement, but it holds the key to our growth and happiness as Human Beings; because the undeniable implication is that our most important relationship is our relationship to what is happening Right Now.

What is right in front of us is always what matters most.

Moreover, the way we relate to our immediate experience is critical. Are we reactive or proactive? Do we relate to our experience with acceptance and kindness, or aggression and anger? It is easy to see that the choice we make will result in very different experiences, along with divergent consequences and repercussions.

We’ll extend trust until it is violated, but then we shut down. We take it personally, when the truth is that all experience is interpersonal. It is not about you, it is about all of us together, interdependent, in loving intimate shared relationship.

The truth of the matter is that the more intimate the relationship with another Human Being, the more difficult it can be to stay open, vulnerable, and present — precisely because our intimate partners know our weak spots and reactive triggers. As we all know, it is one thing to stay openhearted, vulnerable, and calm when we’re on a beautiful stroll through an idyllic Mountain Forest, but it is an entirely different matter with co-workers, colleagues, family, friends, and loved ones.

This is where our practice(s) can act as strong and potent medicine. First, we need to stay in an intimate, kind, and open relationship with our practices themselves. Negative self-talk is poisonous and lays down toxic thought patterns and feelings which guarantee we’ll shut down when times get tough. Kind speech to others is certainly important, but kind speech to ourselves is critical to our mental health.

It is impossible to have an openhearted relationship to our direct experience if we maintain and protect a negative self-image.

Stay vigilant and transform negative self-talk tendencies through loving and kind engagement with these thoughts and feelings. They will pass, and over time will diminish in frequency and power. Return over and over to cultivating Pure Presence Right Now, which Itself is always in loving relationship to everything else. This is truly the one relationship that matters most.

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2 thoughts on “The One Relationship that Matters Most”

  1. I so love what you say about self-talk. The way we talk to ourselves will eventually, if not immediately, seep out into our interactions with others, and it will color our view of the world and the things that happen. Thank you for your thoughtful post!

  2. To me pure presence means that every fleeting, miraculous moment is an expression of our true nature as primordial love giving itself away *as this moment*.
    Pure presence offers the opportunity to open my heart fully to this miracle — awakening to it — or, in ignoring it, suffer in the emergent opacity. The most essential teaching indeed!! _/|\_

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